Love Yourself

What is love? You can have a clear vision of what love is only when you are able to love yourself. Love can be different things to different women. Many women have no idea what love is, thus leaving them with no criteria on how they should be loved. As a result of women not knowing what love is, they often end up settling for anything in a relationship.

Before moving forward, there is an important thing to remember: before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself. Love yourself means that you place a high value on yourself. It means that you believe you are worthy of good things. No one is going to value you, unless you value yourself. Feel good about who you are as a person and don’t let anyone take that away from you.

I have met too many women in relationships that are beat down. When I say beat down, I mean mentally, not physically. These women believe that if they do everything right, then their partner will love them in the way they want to be loved. These women are beat down because they have given their all in a relationship, with little to nothing in return. These women are beat down because they have tried their best to change his attitude toward them, but nothing seems to be working.

These women are in a constant struggle to hold on to a man at whatever cost. In her mind, she believes that something must be wrong with her. That can be the only explanation for him not loving her, and no matter how many diets she tries, how many pounds she loses, how clean the house is, how she takes care of the entire house because he cannot do it, she gains more criticism from him.

Don’t allow him to take out his problems on you in an unhealthy, destructive way. The bottom line is that if he didn’t use this excuse, that he would use another. If he really cares about you, then he will be supportive of your endeavors. He should never be giving you hidden ultimatums: “if you do this , then I will love you more, and I would not treat you so bad.”

Many women believe that they do everything possible to please their man that he will give them the love and security that they desire. What about changing the question? Do not ask yourself what is wrong with me, have you thought about that you two may not be made for one another?

A friend was telling me once that if her husband saw her talking to another male, that he would give her the third degree. He controlled how she dressed, where she went, and who she could be friends with. She justified his behavior because she believed her man was just looking out for her best interest. Her happiness started to fade when she realized he was only trying to control her life.

If your mate is jealous, then that means he is insecure. Jealousy is not about love. It is about control. You do not need anyone to limit who you talk to, or to make choices for you, you are not a possession, you are not a trophy in a case. You are a person that knows what is best for you. Do no let anyone manifest their insecurities into your life. Refuse to settle for less than you deserve. Instead to be glad to have a man by your side, you should be looking for good love.

Good love is when you can feel good about a relationship. Good love is when you can be yourself in a relationship. Good love is when your mate is supportive of you, just as you are supportive of him. Bad love is the complete opposite of good love. If you are constantly being demeaned, don’t feel good about yourself, and your physical and emotional needs are always put on the back burner, than that’ s bad love.

Stop blaming everyone and everything else. You have the power to get out of that relationship. You are the one that has allowed him to treat you in this manner. You have to take responsibility for your actions or lack of actions. What’s love got to do with it?

Inspired by Woman to Woman by Martha J. Ross-Rodgers

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